I wish I could say I have the perfect relationship with my Mother but that would be far from the truth. As we approach Mother’s Day I thank my Mother for giving me life, but I hate that we don’t have that true mother-daughter bond.
I have not lived with my Mother since I was 9 years old. My parents got a divorce and my Father received custody of me. Since then our relationship has remained somewhat strained. I rather not go into the details about the custody but it wasn’t about drugs or abuse or anything like that, it was about stability or my Mother’s lack of it. I was always a Daddy Girl so having my Dad raise me as a Single Father made our bond even stronger. My Dad was the one who talked to me about the birds and the bees and taught me what it meant to be a lady. It was just us against the world for nearly 4 years until he met and married my Step-mother.
Growing up, talking on the phone to my Mother was limited to twice a week and on special occasions. That was just the arrangement we made and it remained this way until I got to college. In college, all of a sudden she began to obsessively call and tell me how she wished our relationship was like that of others mothers and daughters who had a normal relationship. Although that was a nice thought, I knew in reality our relationship would never be like that of daughters who grew up with their biological Mothers.
I would definitely say that my Mother and I have an interesting relationship. All in all she tries, but we will never have the conventional mother-daughter relationship where I would go to her for advice on relationships or where she’s the first one I call when I have good news. I wish things weren’t this way but I can’t go back into time, it is what it is. She’s my Mother and despite of everything, I love her and she will always be the one who gave me the greatest gift, the gift of life.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mothers, Aunts, Grandmothers, & Single Fathers!