Lately with the change in seasons, I’ve been meeting a lot of men and have gone on some pretty interesting dates. I use the term “interesting” loosely because one date in particular took the record for my worst date of all time.

On one of my many outings with one of my girlfriends, as we sat at the bar laughing this guy comes over and asks us what we’re laughing at. A friendly and unique approach, different from that of many of the DC guys I’m used to. We include him in the conversation, which leads to introductions, and his eventually asking for my number. So fast forward we talk on the phone once and he’s all gung ho about seeing me again and going out to dinner.

I find out he’s from upstate NY, went to Howard, is 36 and has a 4 year old daughter. Mind you, I’m not a fan of dating men with children but I’m trying to be more open-minded. So he asks me when I’ll be free so we can go out. Then he asks me what kind of food I like, I tell him what I like and specifically tell him I’m not a fan of sushi and soul food places make me sick. So the day of the date, he sends me a text telling me the name of the restaurant. I look it up and lo and behold it’s a sushi place, I’m thinking to myself, didn’t I tell this fool that I don’t like sushi. But I look at the menu and they seem to have some cooked dishes w/ rice or pasta that I could get so I figured I’d make the best of it.

So I get to the restaurant and he’s sitting at the bar. As soon as I sit down, his phone rings and he says excuse me I have to take this. I’m thinking to myself, you’re not a doctor and you’re sure as hell not on-call so is it really that serious. His phone ends up ringing several times. When he comes back, it’s apparent that he didn’t even make reservations, so we end up sitting at the bar for about 20 minutes then we finally get seated upstairs in front of the sushi bar. I sit down and come face-to-face with a huge octopus tentacle. I couldn’t have been more disgusted. So I’m still trying to be nice. We look at the menu and he starts suggesting stuff, I mention again to him that I’m not a fan of sushi but I’ll eat something cooked and also that I’m allergic to peanuts (remember that for later).

My food comes out and it’s sushi rolls, I’m like are you serious. Since I don’t eat with chopsticks, I ask for a fork. He decides he wants to make a big deal out of me not using chopsticks and he and the couple seated next to us decide to make it their mission to teach me. I’m like I’m a grown woman, I don’t eat sushi and I don’t use chopsticks, that’s all there is to it. The whole time I’m thinking to myself, I’m way more cultured than he is so I’m not even going to sweat it. After the chopstick lesson, he proceeds to eat off of my plate. I must have given him a look because he says oh we’re going to share everything. I’m like huh, what, excuse me, I don’t even know you.

We had a brief conversation but it was mainly him talking and by this point I had tuned him out. He takes out his phone and shows me a picture of his 4 year old daughter and tells me about how she’ll be coming to stay with him for 8 weeks. Then he’s like I’m going to need for you to help babysit. I’m thinking oh really, that’s not going to happen so don’t even fool yourself.

His food finally comes out and as soon as the waitress puts it down I smell peanuts. I ask him if his dish has peanuts in it because once again clearly he didn’t listen to me when I told him that I was allergic to peanuts (because of my allergy sometimes just the smell alone makes me nauseous). He asks the waitress and she confirms that there are peanuts in the dish. This fool continues to offer me some of the peanut dish after I’ve told him that I’m allergic. Then he’s like here you go there’s no peanut on this piece. I’m thinking what do you not understand about what I am saying to you? I’m like are you freaking kidding me right now. Then he asks me what happens if I eat them, I’m like how about we don’t find out. At this point I’m completely over the date and ready to go.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, his boy walks up. He introduces us and his boy is like umm are you on a date, why would you tell me to meet you here when you’re here on a date? He tried to jokingly say it was in case I backed out at the last minute. At this point, I’m way beyond done with the night and ready to get the hell out of there. The date started at 8, by 9:15 I was in my car driving home.

Needless to say, he will never be hearing from me again. I’ve never ever had such a bad date. I still have a bad taste in my mouth not only from the sushi but from wasting an hour of my life with that fool. Ugh!