Ok so I work for a pretty conservative company as are many of the companies/agencies located near where I work in downtown Washington, D.C. Let’s just say I work for one of the largest and oldest professional associations there is in the US.

As I sit in my office or walk down the halls I’m constantly reminded that some people just don’t seem to get it when it comes to working in a conservative, professional environment. I’ve compiled a list of what shouldn’t be done in the office. Most of the things I’ve listed are common sense. Other things, although they sound a little crazy I’ve seen them. These are just want I came up with when thinking about the last week or so of work. If you read my tweets you’ve heard all about my experiences at work.

What Not To Do At Work (at your desk)
1. Clipping of the nails (finger nails and especially not toe nails)
2. Sucking on a lollipop (especially if you don’t have an office and are out in the public, actually just don’t do it.)
3. Brushing your teeth, flossing, or gargling mouthwash
4. Singing out loud while listening to music
5. Chewing anything with your mouth open so others can hear you chew
6. Cooking anything that will stink up the office (i.e burning popcorn, curry, most types of fish)
7. Spraying anything that will stink up the office
8. Taking off your socks and picking at or between your toes
9. Bashing your boss or your co-workers, you never know who’s listening or who’s friends with
who
10. Leaving your cell phone ringer on. Unless you’re a doctor or on-call, you can put it on vibrate or have people call you at your desk. No one wants to hear your phone ringing while you’ve stepped out to go to the bathroom or a meeting.

What Not To Wear At Work
1. Tank tops or strapless clothing (unless under a suit jacket)
2. Flip flops of any kind (unless you work at the Beach)
3. Anything where your back is out
4. Anything that exposes your bra straps, butt crack or love handles (no one should see these parts of your body)
5. Sweats, velour, or track suits, even on casual Fridays
6. Pants so tight you have a camel toe (If you can feel it, everyone else can see it)
7. Too small cardigan or blouse. You know when you see some and the buttons are holding on for dear life or there’s that one button that won’t stay closed and reveals the person’s bra.
8. Anything so low-cut that has the potential of exposing your arreolas
9. Cullottes (don’t know where people are finding theses, haven’t seen them since like ’87. They are nothing but long, loose fitting shorts think Golden Girls. But who wears shorts to work unless you’re a camp counselor or a P.E. Teacher?
10. Anything satin or velvet. Some materials aren’t meant for daytime so just don’t do it.

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