Judging by the comments in response to my first Equally Yoked blog I figured I’d post a follow-up. In the first blog I said my preference is to date men who are college-educated, have a white-collar job, and must be a Christian. I don’t have any regrets about making any of those statements. And here’s why.

College Educated
I never implied that people who have a college degree are any better or more intelligent than people who didn’t go to school. I have noticed that people who went to college (even if they didn’t finish) typically have a different mindset then those who didn’t. There are plenty of people that I grew up with who have never lived more than 10 miles from our hometown and still have all of the same friends they’ve had since they were kids. Typically, those who go to college have the opportunity to met and interact with different types of people and are exposed to various situations which helps them to become more well-rounded.

True, back in the day someone could graduate from high school, start in the mailroom, work their way up and 25 years later become a CEO. Sorry to say but that doesn’t really happen anymore, times have changed. In order to be a secretary/admin. at most companies you have to have a college degree. And if you want to even think about having the flexibility to move up in many fields, you have to have an advanced degree to be competitive.

As far as dating someone in the military is concerned, I’ve done that. However, all of the men happened to go to college, that’s what the G.I. Bill is for. Also, I would date an entrepreneur who didn’t go to college as long as he had a good head on his shoulders and as long as he was running/starting up a “real” business. He couldn’t be like Ralph from The Honeymooners who always has some get rich quick scheme, dated a guy like that and he never had any money because he was always making bad investments.

Career
Yes, I prefer a man who works a white-collar job and preferably a 9-5 type of job. Workaholics need not apply. I’ve dated guys who were Metro bus drivers or some-type of technician. I’ve also dated guys who worked in retail (shoot I was in retail for 5 years and probably will always have a PT retail gig, have to keep my discounts). Nothing against them but usually men who work these kinds of jobs have schedules with varying hours. I’m sorry but my schedule is crazy enough. It’s hard to date someone who works a 6PM-3AM shift or someone who is only off during the week.

I never said anything about needing a rich man to take care of me. I grew up with two professional parents who knew the importance of working hard. They liked to travel, have nice things, and exposed me to being culturally-aware. As I grew older, I knew what kind of lifestyle I was accustomed to and knew I wanted to maintain it. Back when I was I was in college, if I had gotten married young, it would’ve be okay to struggle. But at this point in my life, I’m past that. Who wants to live paycheck to paycheck, I surely don’t. Not saying that blue-collar men can’t be successful or ambitious, they just aren’t my preference.

Christian
This is something that I could not and will not sacrifice. I have certain beliefs which cannot be compromised. I am in no way the perfect Christian or one who walks around quoting scripture (not that there’s anything wrong with that, that’s just not me), but I must have someone who shares my religious beliefs and will be there to accompany me on my walk. I could go on and on, but it’s not necessary.

Yes, I agree that opposites can attract, but I don’t see what is so wrong with wanting to have three things in common with someone you’re dating and the one you eventually end up marrying. Notice I never said anything about looks or race. Of course, I’m looking for someone I have a connection with, someone who makes me laugh, someone who’s supportive of me and my decisions, in addition to my three preferences. I posted a blog last month listing my top 10 deal breakers.

I know plenty of women who are looking for a tall, light-skinned man, without kids and a good job. That’s their preference and I can’t knock them for that. When I was a little girl my Father taught me the importance of setting goals whether it was school or career-related, or just life in general. I feel the same applies to relationships, if you don’t have something in mind of what you’re looking for, you’re not going to get it. It’s a simple as that.

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