I’m a person who loves to have fun, but I hate playing games. I feel like the men I’ve encountered lately rather play games then pursue relationships. It’s such a strange phenomenon to me. Practically all of my adult life I’ve been in relationships so I was immune to all of the games and the foolishness they play, but now I see it all the time.

A game to me is when you meet someone new, exchange numbers and have to play the waiting game to see who will call or email first. Truthfully, I rarely call first because I feel like once you make that first call you’re the one setting the tone. Call me old fashioned but I’m the woman, I should be the one being pursued not the other way around. Professional men in the DC area know that they’re in high demand, and pray on desperate women who are willing to accept less just for the sake of having a man. I don’t chase men, never have. If they can’t handle that, oh well, they have their options and I’m not going to be one of them.

Other guys I’ve met will want to just talk, email, or text (I hate the reliance of texting when dating for the record) forever and never plan anything. After a while that gets boring and I’m over them. I don’t know if they’re waiting for me to suggest or plan something but I don’t feel that’s my responsibility. I get bored easily. If I’ve been communicating with someone for more than a month and we’ve have never been on a date, truthfully, in my mind the man has other priorities which obviously do not include me and I’m no longer interested. It would be hard for him to make a comeback after my guard has gone back up.

I have a friend who talked to a guy for six months and they never, not once, went out on a date. They had never even seen each other since their initial encounter. She has way more patience than me. Of course he wasn’t the only person she was talking to and I’m sure he was talking to others as well, but the thought of it is silly. You can only learn so much from talking on the phone or emailing, the in-person connection/attraction is what matters most. The only exception would be if it were long distance as in coast-to-coast or more than a few hundred miles away. If we live less than 60 miles from one another and never see each other that would send up a red flag that there was a problem.

I feel as though some men don’t get the point of dating. The point is not to spend money. You can go on all types of dates that don’t cost little to nothing or are free. Some of my favorite dates have been picnics, going to a museum (most are free in DC). A friend of mine said one of her best dates was sitting by the waterfront with a guy and he read to her. If a man is on a budget we can understand that, all woman are looking for is a little creativity.

Let me also say, if a guy’s idea for a first date involves dinner and a movie at my place or his, he’s instantly being scratched off the list. There are so many reasons why I wouldn’t date someone like that. My main concern would be either he’s cheap or he’s in a relationship or even married. If a man does not want to take you out in public, there’s a problem, it’s a simple as that.

As much as I enjoy being in a relationship I rather be single than play a bunch of games. I’m not one for BS and I can usually spot a BSer in one conversation. It boggles my mind how some many women I know see that they’re being played but they choose accept it. Ladies, having a man is not that serious. I know too many women who’ve fallen for men who were married or men who ended up marrying someone else when they were supposedly dating. The signs are there, you just have to open your eyes and see them for yourself before you end up being the one getting played.

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