Back to my adventures in dating in DC. So I met a few interesting men last week at a holiday party sponsored by the Washington Bar Association. My parents told me about the party and I figured hey mixing and mingling with young lawyers couldn’t be all bad. I went with a girlfriend and we had fun meeting our share of beaus that evening and had lots of laughs especially at my Father’s friends who tried to hit on us.
I ended up having a great conversation with one of the guys and we exchanged numbers. At the end of the conversation he says I’m going to put it all out there of course I’m thinking oh Lord what is this fool about to say. He tells me that he has 2 kids and is moving to OH in January to start a new job. So of course I was like whoa okay I appreciate your honesty but I’m going to go now. Needless to say he texted me the next day saying it was nice to meet me and that we should go out. So I’m thinking why is he trying to start something when he’s leaving town in a few weeks? I’m not a fan of long distance relationships and the thought of starting something with someone who is about to move hundreds of miles away seemed pointless.
Fast forward we ended up meeting for drinks then had dinner. We talked for a few hours and had another great conversation. It was interesting he brought up how women look at everything when we first meet a man. We’re constantly overanalyzing the situation and are looking into the future before a relationship is even formed. Which is so true, I know that I’m guilty of that but I try to focus on the present and just go with the flow. That is the reason why I even said yes to going out with someone with children and who is clearly leaving town soon.
After the date, he continued to text me saying how much he enjoyed my company, how easy I am to talk to, how he was sad about moving, blah, blah, blah. The next morning my phone continues to blow up with messages from him. He kept asking me when we were going to go out again and all these random personal questions. Then I remembered he told me he had 2 kids, not thinking he was the type to have baby mamas, I figured he was married at some point. When I asked him about being married, told he me he was, key word being “was.” Me being naive I figured he’d been divorced for a while. I decided to throw it out there and ask him how long he was married. His response was, “5 years…currently separated”. So I was like, “Wow, okay so you’re separated as in you’re still married?” Maybe it’s just me but I still consider separated as being married. Until he signs the divorce papers, he still has a wife and I’m not the one to get involved with a married man.
True, I guess being separated wouldn’t come up in an ordinary first conversation but I still feel like he should’ve told me upfront while he was putting everything else out there. Imagine if I hadn’t asked and just assumed that he was divorced. Needless to say there will not be a date #2. Lessons learned on to the next…