The topic of “One Date Wonders” came up while out to dinner the other day.  As I look back on 2009, I went on a lot of first dates.  Being single for most of the year, is definitely a first considering I’ve had back to back boyfriends since I went to college in 1998.  What can I say, I’m a serial monogamous.

Until this year, I’d never dated so much.  Life was easy, I’d meet someone we’d go on a date or two, we’d hit it off and within a month or so we’d be exclusive and would be in a relationship for a year plus.  Today, things are so different. 

I’ve gone on a few good dates and some dreadful ones this year, but they’ve pretty much all played out the same way.  Spend a few days talking on the phone and sending text messages, let him plan the date, go on date, communicate for a few days after the date then one of us loses interest.  If I go on a date and then don’t hear from him for a week then out of the blue by the time he sends me a “hey stranger” text message or voicemail (I’ve gotten so many of those, it’s ridiculous), I’ve already moved on.  Maybe it’s because I’m impatient but I take it is as if we had a nice date and I don’t hear from him within a reasonable amount of time, clearly he’s either not interested or dating multiple women and I’m not trying to be added to anyone’s starting line up.

My thoughts are I’m the woman, I’m not going to put in effort when I’m not getting anything in return.  As I’ve said before, I lose interest very quickly and have no need to chase men who aren’t trying to be caught.  I’m also not willing to settle just for the sake of having someone, it’s just not that serious.

Lately, I’ve been questioning why some men even date?  What are they hoping to gain from dating if they aren’t looking for a relationship?  What is their motivation?  I hate feeling like my time has been wasted from going on all these one date wonders but as always, I try to look on the bright side and remember you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince.

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