I came across the below ABC news story via The Average Bro’s blog. He posted the video and asked his readers what they thought of it. I’ve included my response to him and another commenter below as well as additional commentary.
I can so relate to this video. As a single woman, this is a daily topic of conversation that comes up amongst my friends. It’s not complaining at all, it’s stating reality. We’re all beautiful, successful, have careers and we all hope to settle down without settling.
I don’t believe the video makes Black women look “thirsty” at all, if anything it further proves that there really is a shortage of Black men, 1.8M to be exact. Although most Black women aspire to have “black love”, we must accept the fact that may not be a possibility for all of us. We must remove our blinders and explore our options.
I’ve been telling my friends that my motto for the New Year is going to be “Something New for 2010.” Something New referring to the movie with Sanaa Lathan when she falls in love with a White man. For some reason, Black women haven’t been as open to dating outside of our race as much as Black men who have been doing it for decades.
As a young woman, I grew up wanting to experience “Black Love” which included marrying a Black man and having Black children. Those of us who grew up with two parents saw this first hand and it’s been engrained in us that this is how it’s supposed to be. But with statistics like the one that says 42% of Black women have never been married staring us in the face we need to rethink what love really looks like.
This is a new day and age and we should focus more on finding a man who knows how to treat us, is supportive of our goals, and who genuinely can make us happy. It’s clear to me that race needs to be taken out of the equation.
Lately, I’ve been hearing so many stories of Black women who’ve found love with White men. Why shouldn’t we be happy? Why should there be a stigma of dating outside of our race? I don’t agree with the statement that Black women have too high of standards, of course there are exceptions, but I believe most of my friends just want a good man and we don’t want to worry being a bench warmer on anyone’s team.
2010 is going to be the year of exploring all possible options when it comes to relationships. Next time I’m out and meet a man of another race, I’m not going to shy away from seeing if there’s potential. While the idea of having black love is what I’ve always aspired to have, I’m open to finding love even if it’s in a different color.