I noticed that I’ve become quite an expert on cutting people off. I’m not talking about cutting someone off while they are talking to me or about driving (well maybe a little) but more so when I meet someone. I’m a pretty good judge of character so after an initial meeting, phone call, or date that doesn’t go so well, I tend to block that person out of my mind and essentially cut them off.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to listen to my instincts. In the past, I would give people the benefit of the doubt when I knew the situation wasn’t ideal and would inevitably end up wasting my time with them because I didn’t listen to the voice in my head. I’ve learned if something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. And with that, on to the next…Apparently, he didn’t like the fact that I deleted him as a contact. He sent me an angry email in the middle of the night saying I was wrong for not giving him a chance. First of all, let me say I rarely use BBM so I felt there was no point in leaving him in there when the only reason I was even using it was b/c of him. Second, there was absolutely no chemistry and we clearly weren’t on the same level. In my mind, I figured it would be easier to sever all ties and not waste anymore time. Truthfully, I’m not looking for any more friends.
The date didn’t get any better from there, it was full of awkward pauses which was so much different from our phone conversations. When he did speak to me he didn’t look me in the eye. I was always told you can’t trust someone who doesn’t look you in the eye. I could only forgive that if he was from another country or was raised by parents from a different culture, where that is common. Needless to say, after the meeting, It was definitely more of a meeting than a date because this guy shook my hand when we were departing ways. That was definitely a first for me, I’m used to doing a side hug at the least. On my drive home I noticed there were 2 BBMs from him saying he enjoyed it and he hoped that I made it home safely. I responded flatly with “You too. Have a goodnight.”
As soon as I got home I erased his number from my phone and removed him from my BBM contacts.Recently, I met up with this guy who I’d been communicating via phone and BBM for about 2 weeks. He’d been doing a lot of traveling for work so he suggested we meet up at Busboys & Poets (B&P) in VA one evening. I agreed to meeting him there because I’d never been to the location and I love B&P. So I had to drive from MD through DC to get to the B&P in VA (after being at work for 9 hours) to meet him. When this guy had the nerve to be late, I had a feeling it was only going to go downhill from there. I knew he lived in VA but when he told me he lived “right around the corner” yet had me commute across the entire DMV (DC, MD, VA area) to a place that was near where he lived I was done.
I’m the same way with relationships, when my last few relationships ended I found it easier to move on when I didn’t have to deal with seeing that person anymore, cut off all communication, and removed every email, text message, phone number as if they never existed so I wouldn’t be tempted to go back and try to make things work. I guess it’s always been my coping mechanism.