I was having an interesting conversation with a girlfriend the other day. We were talking about the physical attributes of men we’re typically attracted to.
While, I’ve always loved all flavors of chocolate, growing up I was usually attracted to guys who were my complexion, brown-skin to dark-skin, and they had to be tall and slim-average build. This was different, because many of my friends were caught up in having a guy who was light-skin with “good or pretty hair” (I hate that terminology but that’s what people used to say). I always liked a nice chocolate-complected man who was classically attractive. I was shy back in the day, so of course I never expressed interest in these guys. After a few years, I noticed a pattern with all of the guys I was attracted to, I’d never see them dating any girls my complexion.
By the time I got to college, I was more receptive to dating and had my share of relationships. Immediately, I noticed there was a trend when it came to the guys who approached me. For the most part, they were tall and slim-average build but they were light-skinned. It just seemed strange that practically all of the guys who would try to talk to me were the same complexion (what people would refer to as caramel or light-brown).
Even now, I’ve only had one boyfriend who was dark-skinned and only dated a few who were my complexion or darker. I found it interesting that my only dark-skinned boyfriend admitted to me that I was the first dark-skinned girl he’d ever dated. Which further convinced me that dark-skin men prefer light-skin women. I never delved into exactly what caused him to be attracted to a certain complexion I just figured it was what he was attracted to. After all you can’t help who you’re attracted to, right?
Then again, I wonder what it is that causes people to be attracted to people who are on the opposite side of the spectrum? While we’ve all had friends who were only attracted to a certain complexion for one reason or another, it’s less common to hear the “he has to be tall, light skin with curly hair” comment these days.
Even when you look at ancient art, whether Africa, Asian, or European, typically the women is light and the man is dark, or the converse. Even look at old television shows, The Jeffersons (George & Weezy), A Different World (Dwayne&Whitley), The Game (Dervin & Melanie). Maybe it’s showing opposites attract. I wonder if there’s something subconscious in some people that makes them desire to find a mate who’s physically their opposite. If you’re short you like tall, if you’re light you like dark, if you’re fat you like skinny. I’d really be interested to see if there’s any type of study on this topic. It’s just something that has always made me wonder.
Has anyone else noticed when dating you tend to attract men/women who look similar whether, size, complexion, or other physical attributes?