Recently, my ex who is emotional by nature, was telling about what he considers to be one of my major character flaws. He’s always telling me about how “ice cold” I am. Not that this is new because I’ve heard it before, many times, but figured it was just a part of who I am and it isn’t really something that I could simply change. I used to joke Rick James & Teena Marie’s Fire & Ice was my theme song, cue “You were cold as ice, long ago…” Also, Paula Abdul’s “Cold-Hearted Snake“
It’s true, I can be somewhat ice-cold. I don’t know what it is, but I wasn’t created with a sense of emphathy. Empathy, not to be confused with sympathy, as defined as the capability to share another being’s emotions and feelings. While I am a very sympathetic person and care about the well-being of others, it’s hard for me to have empathy and put myself in another persons situation. While I can sympathize with them, I’m unable to fully relate to them or what may be going on in their lives. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s like I just don’t know how to deal with certain situations.
My ex thinks being empathetic is something that can be learned over time. I’m not quite sure if I agree with him on that. I feel it’s something that either you have or you don’t. For me to become empathetic would make me feel like I was being fake or disingenuous. While, I’m not proud to say I lack this certain emotion, I believe it’s a part of what makes me who I am.