When I was in my mid-twenties, I would always joke I wanted to have children sooner than later because “my eggs were drying up.” Not that it is was too far from the truth. I realized that older I got the more difficult it would become to conceive. Now as I’m quickly approaching 30, the thought still occasionally pops into my head. Truthfully, I’m not that concerned just yet since many of my friends who are older didn’t have children until they were well into their 30s.
What sparked these thoughts was an interesting article posted by Matchmaker Paul Brunson (aka @OneDegreeFromMe) on Twitter. The title of the article was More children are being born to women over 35 than to teens. While this came as a surprise to some, it made a lot of sense to me.
With more women going to college and even graduate school it’s caused the cycle of life to shift. Back in the 50s, women (if they went to college) were married by 21 or 22. Now, if you finish college at 21 or 22, go to grad school say you finish at 23 or 24 then start your first real job at 24 or 25, you’re not thinking about getting married or having children right away. You’re thinking more about your career and preparing yourself for your future. Men are the same way. Most men I know and have dealt with want to establish themselves before jumping into a serious relationship and thinking about having children.
When I started college, I had my life all planned out. I was going to get married at 24, start having kids at 26 and the rest would be history. After college and once I got to business school I knew my plans weren’t going to work out. While, I could’ve easily gotten married, it wasn’t my focus at the time. I was one of the youngest in my B-School class and it made me even more determined to get that MBA versus focusing on a MRS. If I knew then what I know now, who knows how my life would’ve ended up.
I believe the trend of women having children later in life should be looked upon favorably. Women who are older, will typically be more financially prepared to raise children than a teenage mother would. They are also more likely to have a support system (i.e. a husband) to assist with caring for the child.
All I can say is I hope this means the cycle of babies having babies is finally going away. I’m tired of seeing teenage mothers dressed to the nines with their babies looking a mess. You know what I’m talking about the baby’s clothes are dirty, hair’s not combs, snot coming from its nose and all the while the Mother could care less about the condition of her child. It really disgusts me and it’s a sight I’ve seen all too often.
Both women and men need to be prepared mentally, physically and most importantly financially to have a child. At the rate I’m going, I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t start having children until 35. Of course it’s not what I planned but I’m playing the hand I was dealt. At least by that time, I know I’ll be fully ready, willing, and able to make the commitment to becoming a Mother. Sure I’ll be older but I’m planning to be the hottest Mother on the playground.